“Finding Me Again” Is a poem that I wrote about the downfall of my mental health. Living through depression or anxiety has its ups and downs. I know this because it is something that I live with on a daily basis. Mental Health illnesses can be treated but it will always be a part of you. This poem, however, teaches us what depression may look like or feel like for some people. Feeling like you have made it through your bad days and realizing that you may have control over these emotions, turns out to be that these feelings aren’t going away because it is a part of you. It will always be a part of you. It is important to acknowledge them, but it is also important to push through them. Depression Is like a stone wall, it can only be knocked down with the right tools, but it could also build back up again.

I hope you take a moment to read this poem and provide feedback on what you think or feel when reading it.

" The lights go out.

I am still.

The darkness absorbs me.

My mind wanders as time goes by.

Minutes.

Seconds.

Hours.

Night and day.

Why do I still feel this way?

A question that doesn’t seem to go away.

As repetitive as it seems,

It continues to follow me, 

as a butterfly has lost its way.  

It’s like I am talking to myself. 

I sit on my bed every night alone. 

I try to convince myself that everything will be okay. 

But will it? 

If so, when? 

It's been five years and I feel as if I’m back at the bottom of the mountain that stands before me. 

I climb and climb and climb.

In the blink of an eye, I am back at the start. 

Everything is progressively moving at a faster pace. 

A pace that I can no longer keep up with. 

I'm slowly falling into a hole.

A hole that has a never-ending fall. 

Fragile.

Difficult.

Complicated,

And strong.

My mind is trapped in itself.

My thoughts are no longer clear to me.

Who do I listen to,

My mind or heart?

Water fills my lungs.

Unable to breathe.

Unable to see or think about what is known to me".

Published by Anastasia Baez